Viva Las Vegas

It has taken me a long time to write this post. I originally had a different post written to share this week but in light of what has happened, I just can’t find it within myself to share a blog post about overcoming fear just yet.

Because the truth is… I’m scared. In a way that I don’t think I have ever been scared before.

Last weekend I flew to my hometown of Las Vegas to attend my 30th high school reunion. It was the first reunion I had been to and it was amazing. I was still riding the high of that event the next day as I was getting ready to go see a show at the Luxor with my friend and her husband. The show was awesome, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Being the old lady that I am (ha ha), we went back to my friend’s house and I went to sleep .

I was awakened the next morning around 6 am by a phone call from my mom. She immediately asked me where I was and I asked her what was wrong. After a pause she said, “ You obviously haven’t watched the television” and proceeded to tell me that the previous night 58 people were killed and over 500 were injured at a concert. A concert directly across from the Luxor.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Las Vegas Strip, the Luxor sits directly across from the Mandalay Bay on one side and the concert venue was across the street on the other side. We left the Luxor around 9:45 or 9:50 pm. The shooting started at 10:05 pm. If we had stopped to get a drink, ice cream, or even gamble or walk around, we either would have been driving directly through the path between the Mandalay Bay and the Harvest Festival or we would have been in lockdown at the Luxor.

That entire Monday was filled with text messages from friends asking if I was ok and various posts on my friends’ Facebooks pages about classmates and/or their friends whose loved ones were still missing, shot, or were killed at the Route 91 Harvest Festival. The news provided a constant barrage of information about the shooting. At some point in that day I was hit with the sudden realization that truly nowhere is safe. The irony is not lost on me that I have felt safe walking down the street at night in countries such as Spain, Ireland and even Morocco – and yet I would hesitate to walk down many streets at night in my own country. The fear I felt further embedded itself in the pit of my stomach as I realized my son was scheduled to go to Disneyland the following week with his high school’s jazz band.

For the first several days after the shooting, I alternated between feeling sick to my stomach, crying and feeling stunned. It wasn’t just the fact that I was in such close proximity to the site of the shooting right before it occurred, it was also the fact that Las Vegas is my hometown. I grew up there. I have been all over that stretch of road and up and down the Strip more times than I can count. Every similar tragedy that has occurred in our country has affected me and brought me to tears. But this one? This one cut even deeper.

I have multiple family members who own guns and thus don’t have an issue with guns in general, assuming that they are not utilized irresponsibly or to hurt innocent individuals. Yet, I found myself getting angrier and angrier at those who insisted that we shouldn’t consider tighter gun laws-even for semi- and full assault weapons whose sole purpose seems pretty much to be killing large amounts of humans in a short period of time. I grew weary of people throwing up their arms and basically stating the equivalent of “If someone is going to kill someone they will find a way to do it so instead of trying to prevent them from using assault weapons we should just accept this reality and move on with our lives”. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t the definition of insanity to do what you’ve always done and expect different results?

Furthermore, we don’t choose to not make laws in this country based on hopelessness and/or the chance that a crime may still be committed. Unfortunately, people steal, vandalize and commit sexual and verbal assault on a regular basis in this country but we still have laws against these crimes. In some cases, we also take precautions to make it more difficult for individuals to commit these crimes. Isn’t it bizarre as well that our government requires individuals who wish to drive a vehicle to do things like take a test, purchase insurance, and attend driving classes (in some areas) but there are individuals who balk at having to follow similar requirements to purchase guns?

Political rant aside, I believe that there were two worlds reflected in the Vegas tragedy.

The first is a world wherein a seemingly sane man felt no compunction about indiscriminately shooting at thousands of innocent victims. A man who planned methodically to kill weeks, months, possibly years without anyone knowing. A man who, instead of trying to get as much visibility as possible for his heinous act, actually hid things so well that we have yet to find out what his motive was. In this world, no one and nowhere is safe. In this world, it is not odd for one to look twice at everyone he or she comes into contact with and wonder what truly lurks behind those eyes and that smile. It is a world where mass shootings such as this one happen so often that my child, my grandchildren, and the generations to come after them are numb to the horrors that exist. This is the world I fear living in. This is a world that I am terrified for my son and grandchildren to inherit.

But there is a second world as well. A world where the worst possible situation brings out the best in humanity. A world where strangers help each other to survive and where individuals value the lives of other people as much as if not more than their own. In this world, strangers risk their own lives to shield others, help those who have fallen, even lay with a stranger who is dying so that he won’t die alone. People rise to the call for help in this world, without even being asked. They form seemingly endless lines to give blood, arriving as early as 4 the next morning. Thousands donate their hard earned money to help victims and their families. Corporations set aside reverence of the almighty dollar long enough to offer rooms, flights, and other resources to families affected by the tragedy. Community members provide food, transportation, even a room in their home to anyone who might need it as a result of the shooting.

This is the legacy I want my child, grandchildren and generations to come to inherit. This is a world I am proud of, a world which instills in my son not apathy but deep compassion. This is the best of humanity. It is a world where love perseveres and overcomes.

This is the Las Vegas I grew up in.

This is the world I choose to focus on and find ways to contribute to.

Vegas Strong.

Viva Las Vegas.