There once was a little girl (for lack of a better word) who was born…different. She was born with shocking white blonde hair which was was a light blue at the tips and eyes that were so light blue they almost looked transparent, as if they were made of glass. She was beautiful, in an otherworldly way. Concerned about her appearance, her parents took her to doctor after doctor yet no one could come up with an explanation that made any sense other than that her unusual hair and eyes must be the result of some freak genetic mutation.
Freakish was a good word to describe how the girl felt. You see, it wasn’t just her appearance that was extraordinary, she also had abilities that she quickly discovered that no one else seemed to have. She was able to to not only feel but also see what was inside a person, what was hidden in their heart. Most people looked at each other when they interacted. The little girl looked at each person’s body as it became a moving canvas betraying what lay inside. Some were straightforward, such as the accountant whose canvas showed numbers, glorious numbers, as he delightedly chased them as though they were bubbles. The girl discovered though that many times appearances lied. There was the big, burly biker whose alter ego ran through fields and lovingly tended a garden. There was the restrained, professional, conservative businesswoman whose canvas was comprised of a rainbow of colors within which she danced, uninhibited. The old, seemingly fragile man who was a sailor at heart and still strong enough and clear enough to navigate the ocean as he loved to do.
There were those, too, whose pictures were illusory. Mired in their own pain, their canvases appeared nearly blank or they showed dark creatures with mouths gaping and terrifying terrains in deep reds and smoky grays. There was often a strange kind of beauty in their darkness and she wanted to help these lost souls, but her attempts were never quite successful and often left her feeling like she was drowning in their inner storms. In addition, she could never truly articulate to them that what they thought existed within them was a lie, that they were so much more. At best, they never listened, and at worst, they drew away from her in disgust or fear. She learned to feel these souls before she ever saw them, characterized as they were by feelings of being pierced by jagged glass or a sense that she was being suffocated.
The canvases she most enjoyed seeing and feeling were those of children. While not yet fully formed, their pictures were so vibrant and straightforward (as most had not learned the necessity of guarding their hearts and thoughts) and typically full of a natural attraction to and belief in possibilities and an unbridled joy. As time wore on, the girl slowly began to observe that while she could see everyone else, no one else could truly see her. This realization caused her to feel melancholy and as though there were a void within her. She knew that people such as her parents loved her, but they couldn’t really SEE her and if they couldn’t see who she really was how could she be sure that their love would endure? This fear that she would never truly be loved began to rapidly blossom inside of her.
As she progressed through her adolescence, the loneliness that had taken root became pervasive and grew like a weed. While she would sometimes linger near people who unknowingly presented beautiful canvases and emanated energy that was peaceful or warm, for the most part she was socially isolated. The novelty of her gift began to wear off until she encountered a most unexpected mystery. She was sitting at table in Starbucks, studying for her high school history exam when she noticed a boy walking towards her. He was attractive in all of the ways that she wasn’t. Whereas her appearance evoked the splendor of ice sculptures and the distant, still beauty of snow, he was all warmth. With his wavy ebony hair, luminescent dark eyes, olive skin and captivating smile, he could have been the sun. She wanted to bask in his energy but she also felt repelled and confused and she wasn’t sure why. As he got closer, she searched for the living art that was his and for the first time she saw…question marks. Nothing but tons and tons of question marks. Some were moving rapidly, frenetically, while others slowly sailed along.
Her stomach clenched in knots and for some unspeakable reason she was terrified. Part of her wanted to be near him, talk to him, drink him in while another part of her told her in no uncertain terms to RUN. Just as he reached her table and began to speak, she gave in to the latter part of herself and jumped up, grabbed her books, and fled. She allowed herself one glimpse back and she was stunned to find that he was simply watching her, smiling.
One morning as she awoke from a dream, she remembered. She remembered why she was here. She remembered why she was different. It was a knowing she couldn’t explain but she knew without a doubt that she had been sent here to find her “other” – the one who was her exact match. Someone with gifts like hers; someone with the key to her heart. Although she didn’t completely understand it, she sensed that finding her exact match would somehow set in motion a positive change for humanity in her little corner of the world. Time was of the essence, and if she didn’t find her match she would be sent back to where she came from, wherever that was. Just as certainly as she knew what her mission was, she also knew that she was running out of time.
Her quest took on a sense of urgency. Not just because she now realized she had a mission to complete but also because she didn’t want to leave this place without ever knowing what it was like to be loved by someone who saw her clearly and understood her. She began putting herself out there, trying to meet new people as often as possible. Given her tendency towards introversion, this was not especially easy or comfortable. Yet her driving need to find her match overrode all of her natural instincts and she pursued her goal with a tenaciousness that she didn’t know she possessed.
Oddly enough, as she began her search she suddenly began seeing the boy with the question marks everywhere. On the street, in the same store, in line at the restaurants she frequented-she did her best to make sure that he didn’t see her. When he did see her, he turned on that charming smile and gave her a little wave. Her heart always did a little flip whenever she saw him and she felt herself drawn to him almost magnetically. She wanted so badly to talk to him, to find out more, and to solve the mystery of the question marks but she wouldn’t allow herself to consider that for even a second. She had seen what was inside of him and she had not seen a key. She continued frantically searching for someone whose inner canvas held a key that she knew to be a match.
Despite her almost heroic efforts, the day came when the girl was forced to face her worst fears. She was walking in the forest, taking a shortcut, when twilight fell. The darkness creeped in at an unnaturally rapid pace and every path she took as an escape route only led her deeper and deeper into the forest. She stopped, bent over and out of breath from trying to run, and noticed that even though it had been a warm day, the air had suddenly taken on a chill and she could see her breath rising up as if it was smoke from the mouth of a dragon. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she knew her time was up.
Burdened by the loss of her failure and even more so the deep sadness that she would never be seen by another like her and therefore would never experience unconditional love, she shrugged her shoulders and slowly turned to face her sentencer. As she came full circle and began to lift her head and her eyes so that she could see that which terrified her, she was stunned. This was not some grim reaper looking creature in dark robes. This was not someone who wore their authority as a mantle. Rather, she found herself looking into the eyes of the question mark boy.
Before she could fully process this information, she sensed an energy of barrier separating the two of them and saw his question marks start to frantically move around. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was seeing the very same question marks swirling around her body as well. She was both overjoyed to be seen and surprised that her inner canvas was the same as his. She didn’t have much time to revel in this feeling though as suddenly two question marks, one from each side, stilled, positioned themselves horizontally so that they were facing each other, and began to move with arrow-like precision to the barrier between them. In synchronicity, each question mark fitted themselves into an invisible lock and turned at the same time.
The impact hit them both like a sonic boom, as infinite vibrant colors broke free from them. Sounds like a siren’s call with their otherworldly tones and melodies filled the air around them both. Roses of all colors bloomed at their feet and a rush of loving energy filled their bodies as the two question marks twisted and turned, changing form to become an entwined heart. In awe, the girl and the boy noticed that suddenly colors were brighter, sounds were clearer, and they felt a sense of peace and joy that they had never experienced. The boy smiled at the girl and an ecstatic giggle escaped from her mouth as he enfolded her hand in his.
The wave of energy reverberated throughout their corner of the world. People everywhere stopped what they were doing, stunned. Little by little, they began to see with their heart rather than their eyes. They began to listen to the wisdom present in the stillness. They began to awaken as if from a dream and remember who they were. They looked down and were surprised to see that they could see their own canvas. Vividly painted pictures danced along the surfaces of their bodies and reminded them of what they had forgotten, freeing what had been hidden within. Even those who had been lost and in pain looked at themselves to find colors bleeding together to create images of hopes and dreams that had long ago been abandoned. Slowly but surely they began to also see pieces of the pictures that comprised the canvases of others and they started to feel a compassion and affinity for those around them-even those they’d never met. Despite their confusion, a feeling of warmth rushed in which overrode any lingering doubts or worries. The walls that they had spent eternities building were suddenly starting to slowly come down. Instead of seeming like a never-ending list of “have tos” and “shoulds”, life began to feel like a gift offering volumes of unspoken promise and delight if they could only find the courage to let go of their doubts and bring their canvases to life.
The girl and the boy could see all of this happening in their mind’s eye. They were astonished. Recognition bloomed within them and suddenly all of the pieces of the puzzle came together. They had been sent here to model and exemplify unconditional love and acceptance, to show others another way. The girl and the boy knew that their quest would not be easy and that they would be tested repeatedly. They knew that helping others in this world to overcome years of conditioning would take far longer than they likely had in this lifetime. But they also knew that a seed had been planted. A spark had been kindled in people’s hearts, reminding them of the pure, unadulterated joy and freedom in letting love rather than fear be their guide. This in an of itself was a gift, and the knowledge of what could be would sustain them.
The boy and the girl looked deeply into each other’s eyes for a moment and then, grinning, they turned to make their way out of the forest and into the world that needed them.